POTATO TIME™

If you have not had a shower orange – my friend,

you have not lived.

Follow my advice,

it will change your life.

This is how you begin.

.

Find yourself a shop or market stall where one might procure an orange.

Buy the biggest one you can,

be not afraid of its curves,

its dimples,

or its thick skin.

Take your prize home and immediately disrobe,

stand proud in your nudity as Adam did in Eden,

then take your orange in your hand,

and lead it to your bathroom,

for your own original sin.

.

Turn your shower to hot,

as hot as you can bear,

and once steaming take yourself – and your orange,

beneath the chrome waterfall,

and once you are in,

.

Tear that sucker apart,

with your hands,

your lips – your teeth,

until you reach the flesh of the fruit,

the juice dribbling down your chin.

Smell the scent in the air,

of orange oil and zest.

Eat as if you were starving,

then throw the ruined carcass to the floor,

you have embraced the animal within.

.

Feel your stress melt away,

as you are cleansed of your actions,

by the running water which conceals your tears,

washes away the pulp,

and hides the evidence of what has been.

So if you ever feel sad,

or depressed,

put my manifesto to the test.

Eat an orange in your shower.

And enjoy your serotonin – freshly squeezed.